Praise be to Allah.
As a mother, it can be tough to see your daughter facing bullying, especially when it’s because of her hijab. You want her to feel confident in her identity as a Muslim girl, and at the same time, you don’t want her to feel shaken in her faith. Let’s walk through some steps to help her navigate these challenges without losing herself.
1. Listen First, Advice Later
When our daughters are hurt, we often rush to “fix it” for them. But before offering advice, let’s start by listening. Bullying is painful, and what your daughter needs first is a safe space to open up without fear of judgment. She needs to know that she can share her experience without feeling like she has to “toughen up” or hide her emotions.
How to Start: Try saying something simple like, “Tell me what happened today, I’m here to listen.” Give her the time she needs to share what’s on her mind, and try not to interrupt with questions or solutions right away. Sometimes, just being heard is the biggest relief.
2. Acknowledge Her Feelings and Reassure Her
Bullying can leave our girls feeling isolated and like they’re the problem. Let her know that what she’s going through is real and that her feelings are valid. Reassuring her that she’s not alone can be deeply comforting.
What to Say: A simple “It’s completely normal to feel hurt or frustrated,” goes a long way. Remind her that her experiences don’t make her weak or “too sensitive”; they make her human. This reassurance can help her feel supported and not like she has to hide her emotions.
3. Instill Pride in Her Hijab as an Act of Obedience
The hijab is more than clothing or a statement—it’s a form of worship and an act of obedience to Allah (سبحانه و تعالى). Remind your daughter that wearing hijab is a way to seek Allah’s pleasure, and it’s part of how she submits to Him. This is a beautiful reminder of her strength in following the path Allah has set.
Conversation Starter: “Wearing hijab isn’t just about personal choice; it’s about fulfilling a command from Allah. Every time you put it on, you’re showing your commitment to Him. Don’t let anyone make you feel small for this beautiful act of worship.”
Sharing the spiritual significance of hijab can help her feel empowered, knowing that it’s a source of strength and closeness to Allah, regardless of what others may say.
4. Equip Her with Practical Responses
Your daughter may feel cornered or unsure of how to respond to bullying, so it’s helpful to practice some responses together. Teach her that it’s okay to stand up for herself while keeping her composure. Sometimes a simple, calm response can be empowering.
Example of What to Practice: If someone says something hurtful about her hijab, she could respond with, “I wear hijab as part of my faith, and I’m proud of it.” Or, she could simply walk away if the comment isn’t worth her energy. Practicing these responses can give her confidence in the moment.
5. Remind Her of Her Inner Strength and Self-Worth
Bullying can sometimes chip away at self-esteem. Help her reconnect with her own worth by highlighting her strengths beyond her appearance. Compliment her on her courage, her kindness, or her intellect. Let her know you see the amazing qualities in her, even when others may not.
How to Reinforce This: “I see how strong and kind-hearted you are, and that’s something special. Don’t let anyone make you doubt that.” These reminders help her build a self-image that isn’t tied to the opinions of others.
6. Encourage Her to Build a Support Network
Having friends who understand and respect her faith can be a source of strength. Encourage her to connect with others who share her values, whether at school, in the community, or even online.
Actionable Step: Look for local events or clubs where she can meet other Muslim girls or supportive friends. Knowing she has a circle that respects her faith can boost her confidence and give her the sense of belonging that every young person needs.
7. Strengthen Her Connection with Allah (سبحانه و تعالى)
Finally, as parents, we know that a strong relationship with Allah is the ultimate source of strength. Encourage her to turn to prayer, read the Qur’an, and remember that Allah (سبحانه و تعالى) is always by her side, even in the hardest moments. This connection will be her anchor and a source of resilience.
How to Support This: Set aside time for family prayer or reflection, or share inspiring ayahs with her. The verse “And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out” (Qur’an 65:2) can remind her that Allah always provides a path, even when things seem tough.
8. Know When It’s Time to Intervene
There may be times when the bullying goes too far, and she can’t handle it alone. In these cases, don’t hesitate to step in. Reach out to her school, speak to teachers, or address the issue directly. Let her know that asking for help doesn’t make her weak, it makes her smart and courageous.
Your daughter doesn’t have to go through this alone. With your guidance, she can learn to handle these challenges with strength, faith, and confidence. By listening to her, reminding her of her worth, and helping her draw strength from Allah (سبحانه و تعالى), you’re giving her tools that will serve her well beyond this situation. And when she knows that she has a strong, supportive family behind her, she can face these challenges without feeling like she has to compromise who she is.
For a story that can inspire and empower your daughter, check out Hajara the Hijabie—a book about a young Muslim girl who learns to stand strong in her faith despite bullying. Find it on Amazon here. If resident in Nigeria, you can purchase it here.
At Deen Love World, our mission is to help you raise deen-loving children.
We publish Islamic books and educational resources that nurture the faith and development of Muslim children from ages 0 to 18.
To order our books, please visit the links below.
Buy in Nigeria: https://deenloveworld.com/shop/
Buy Worldwide (Amazon): https://amzn.to/3N1f9z0
Jazakumullaahu khairan.
